Inferior Without Consent

I never loved you. You mean nothing to me.

Those words cut through the silence with every intention of inflicting some manner of harm upon the girl, but there was no display of emotion present upon her face as they settled comfortably into the air around them. Her heart had been ripped from her chest with ease, yet she found herself unable to process anything that had been spoken as a result of the last hour or so. Eyes were fixed on his still frame, standing a mere few feet in front of her, no doubt debating whether or not he should leave now or continue making a scene in the small cafe. Guilt washed over her in waves as every memory the two shared flooded to the forefront of her mind and she was unable to validate the fact that she had done nothing wrong, thus maintained the belief that those cruel words were a retaliation to her wrongdoings and not his own.

The fact of the matter was, no matter how many times she mulled it over in her mind, this had nothing to do with her and it was he who was at fault this time around. Or, perhaps neither were and it was simply a case of him feeling that he no longer had any love to give, opting to put an end to what may seem to him as a chokehold, given the ferocity at which he knew well that she still loved and cared for him. He could see that much in her eyes, but the pain of his words registered too little too late and he shifted then, backstepping away from her as she lashed out with her arms flailing forward, yet not accurately aiming for anything in particular. A trait in her he was thankful for, as even the mildest of abilities in self defense might have given him a broken nose with the force at which she was swinging her fists in his direction.

                            Enough. I never loved you. I liked the idea of you; nothing more.

As before, those words took a couple of minutes to settle into her brain, but her response this time was to give up entirely. Her arms dropped to her sides as a river of tears fell from her eyes, coating her cheeks and staining dry, trembling lips. He couldn't even stand the sight of her, that crumpled mess on the ground as she sank down, further and further until hair covered her saddened face. A scoff was the only sound that sounded in his throat, along with a low grumble as he took a few steps toward her, the seated customers within the cafe discreetly watching the drama unfold, pretending they were deep in discussions with one another and not highly entertained by the burst of relationship turmoil happening right before their eyes. Some were better at hiding their interest than others and all the while, no one stepped in to help.

Dropping down to her level with a sneer, he gripped her chin between his thumn and forefinger, roughly yanking her face upward so her eyes latched onto his, and he grinned. Nothing devious by way of playful charm, but devious by way of knowing exactly what he had just done to her and loving the idea of her suffering in his wake, as soon as he walked out that door and left town. He would struggle none to find peace again, to live a happy life just the way he wanted it to be, whereas she would spend the rest of her days pining, no doubt, wondering what she had done wrong for him to turn on her so easily. Still, she blamed herself for everything that had just happened, never once allowing her mind to conjure up some sort of excuse for her, that she was good as gold and had done absolutely nothing, at all, to hurt him

                            Look at you. Who could ever love someone like you.

His earlier words could have been mended with a girls night out and a few bottles of beer, but those sent her right to the edge. In her minds eye, she saw herself standing at the precipice of a cliff and daring herself to take that jump. Releasing his hold on her chin, her head lolled back with the force at which he had shoved her upon letting go and she looked up at him, bloodshot eyes visible through tangled, damp locks of hair. And he smiled, but as with the grin, it was not an expression she used to know at all. Rather, it was cruel, wicked and every inbetween and she couldn't stand the sight of him. For the first time in her life, she looked at him with pure disgust, for what he was doing and for all he had done, in lying to her all those years, allowing her to believe in some fantasy world where happily ever after seemed like a possibility.

Gaze lowering to her as he stood straight once more, her own eyes followed him as he left the cafe, leaving her there on the cool tiles in a mess of her own sorrow and the knowledge that she had been used all this time. He was not worth her heartache, she knew, but the sobs that wracked her small frame the moment he was out of earshot and lurching his way down the street in that overly expensive audi she had aided in him paying for. Along with the man whom had meant the world to her, went her hopes and dreams for the future and as she sat there for a moment, shuffling out of view as the sound lifted in the cafe once more, people going about their business as usual now the excitement was over, she curled up into a little ball. Pulling her legs tight against her chest, she rested her head against the wood of a cabinet off to one corner.

                          Go, go, go Violet, yer know wha' they say
                                     'Ang on now Violet, yer'll make it some day

Eyes stilled red as a rose from having allowed her emotions to show through, the girl tightened her hold on herself all the more, remaining firm in that curled up ball, though she heard that voice clear as anything. There was something of familiarity in it and as those words registered, she was able to process whom the voice belonged to. Raising her forehead from resting uncomfortably against her kneecap, she looked up and met his gentle, smiling face. The boy had settled himself down in front of her, crouched so that he might get a better look at the state she was in. Words were not really necessary at that point, though the look on his face suggested he had witnessed the ordeal, just as every other person in here had, yet he was choosing to do something about it. But all she could offer as she opened her mouth to speak, were agonised groans.

The little voice inside her head sang along to those words, following them up with the few lines that followed, purely to find amusement in the next being fight till you drop, given the fact that she had, quite literally, dropped and chose to cease fighting altogether. Her world had so easily crumbled down around her and there was nothing she could do to build it back up again, at least, not for some time. Her heart continued to thump at a steady pace, opposing the pace at which her mind was racing with thoughts of how she might now go about living her life without him whilst simultaneously realising he was not all that worth her worries. This one, though, she had known for years and he was one who would always be around, no matter the chaos life handed her on a silver platter. And as she looked up at him again, she noticed the difference.

An enormous contrast between the one whom had walked out of her life and the one whom remained by her side; both far from one another in personality and in looks. One brunette with eyes the colour of coffee beans, the other blonde with eyes to match a clear summer sky. It meant more to her then than she had perhaps forgotten to think about at any other time, that maybe one was dark and one was light; she had sunk so deep into the darkness that the light of the torch this one held out for her at every twist and turn, had gone unnoticed. And she felt the weight of her choices come crashing down on her then, as her body rose and was lifted carefully into his arms. The boy saw that expression, recognised the tremble in her lower lip and the twitch of her nose, awaiting a sudden outburst that was sure to follow and thus, scooped his arm beneath her legs, tossed her arms around his neck and carried her. He carried her right out the door, stopping only briefly to turn and cast a look of disgust toward the others whom had opted only to watch, all this time. The ones whom had cared nothing for the poor girl and instead, sat back and allowed the falling out to take place.

With her head drooping against his shoulder, yet arms firmly wound around his neck as he held her as a groom might hold his bride as they crossed the threshold of their home, the boy walked the length of the road back to his home. There would be no one left at her own, of course, the only solution to her problem now was carrying both her and her troubles with him, into his own life, where she would always be welcome.